I need a boy to treat me like a princess and not second best. I do want to be lied to. I don’t want to be used. I don’t want someone who only considers me as a “best friend” when we much more than that. I need someone I can never be embarrassed in front of. Someone who will be so excited to see me no matter what. Someone who loves me so much that they have the need for the whole world to know. I use to have this kind of love and attention. I don’t know what I did wrong.. I gave him space, I let him do what he wanted to do, I didn’t complain or try to argue. When he wants something from me, he treats me like I’m the most amazing person he has ever met, then when he gets what he wants he is a complete dick. What did I do to deserve to be used? He killed my self esteem. I now hate myself. Everything about me is terrible. Because I feel like I ruined the one thing I could rely on to make me happy and stress free. It use to be just talking with him would take my mind off of things and help me focus. Now talking with him, I’m just so happy that is actually talking to just me and isn’t being a total dick. I have been going through this bull shit for too long, I am so done. I’m done hating myself, I’m done being put down, I’m done being so focused on stupid things that I can’t even do well in school.
Thank you too my close friends for putting up with me and this bullshit. I’m sure you are sick of me complain about this all the time.. I’m sorry. But thank you so much for still being here for me through this horrible time. I love you guys.
